That's Not Justice
by joanhello
Summary: Metro Man and the Metro City chief of police discuss what to do about Megamind and Minion. They don't see eye to eye. Rated K for one cuss word and some discussion of gore.


"He's escaped again."

Metro Man was in the office of the chief of police, conferring with the chief about the final details of the crowd control arrangements that would be needed for the upcoming opening of the Metro Man Museum, when the phone call came. His super hearing allowed him to hear both sides of the conversation, so the chief's announcement, after it ended, was no surprise. Even without the super hearing, nobody needed to explain who "he" was.

For another fifteen minutes they discussed the possible ways that Megamind was likely to disrupt the opening and means that the city might use to stop him. Options ranged from calling out the National Guard and having tanks in the street to beefing up the police presence at the museum itself. Eventually a set of plans were finalized. Metro Man was about to say goodbye when the chief came out with one more question. This particular police chief was newly promoted and often had questions.

"I wouldn't want to tell you how to do your job, Metro Man, but there is one thing I've noticed. Megamind's latest escape was perpetrated with the help of that robot gorilla that's been his accomplice in dozens of crimes over the years."

"Minion, yes."

"Why haven't you ever apprehended the thing?"

"I'm surprised at you, Chief. There's a complete dossier on Minion in your files."

The chief looked blank and slightly embarrassed. _Hasn't read it._ Metro Man sighed. The man had come up through the homicide department, not one that ever had to deal with Megamind and Minion. _I guess I'm going to have to do a little educating._

"Most of that mechanical body is just that, mechanical, but at the core of the body is a tank of water and in that tank of water is a fish of an extraterrestrial species. We're not sure how the fish controls the body. We do know that he's capable of speech, and has full human intelligence and a personality. That personality is what's important here. From everything we can find out about his relationship with Megamind, Minion is the saner and less criminal member of the partnership. He discourages the blue guy's crazier ideas, pushes for more consideration of human safety and comfort, and in general he's just a good influence."

"But he is also a full partner in every caper his boss does pull. If he was out of the picture, Megamind's ability to create havoc would be crippled. And the next time we put him in prison, he might stay there."

"You say 'out of the picture', Chief, but have you thought about what that means? Minion is of full human intelligence but, legally, he's an animal. We don't have the death penalty for humans anymore, but that's what Minion would get within a few days of being apprehended. No trial, no due process. That's not justice."

The police chief's mouth formed a stubborn line. "Have you expressed your reservations to Miss Ritchie?" _That's a homicide cop's thinking. Bring in the survivors and the bereaved next of kin. Let them express their suffering to the judge and jury. Pull on the heartstrings to get the heavy sentence. He doesn't know how far he's barking up the wrong tree this time._

"Most of what I just told you comes from Roxie. She doesn't turn off her brain when she gets kidnaped, or her powers of observation. She's seen how those two interact when the cameras aren't rolling. And no matter what she has to say about Megamind, and some of it isn't very ladylike, she appreciates Minion for both the trouble he takes to make her captivity comfortable and the moderating influence he has on the blue guy. If you arrange for Minion to be euthanized, you'll have an enemy in the media for the rest of your career. But, listen, Chief, that's not the real reason this is a bad idea. There's a lot that's mysterious about Megamind, but one thing we do know: he's vindictive. Most of his criminal career has been about calling me out over the kind of petty stuff a sane person would have let go of years ago. What if he had something to really be vindictive about, like the death of his only friend? He could have blood running in the streets. Chief, I'm superhuman, but I'm not God. There's a limit to what I can do to prevent that."

"Well, maybe it would be better if he did," said the chief. Metro Man couldn't quite believe what he was hearing. "Once he's really done some shit, they'll stop sending him back to that country club lockup out on Devries Road. Bury him in the supermax in Boscobel and we'll be done with him."

_Is this what I'm defending? _Metro Man surprised himself by thinking._ Is this what my powers are for, to give this bloodthirsty egotist a low crime rate so he can look good at the Regional Conference of Cities? Because that has to be where this is coming from. He's embarrassed by Megamind. He's so embarrassed, he's willing to let innocent people die just to be rid of him._

The superhero had learned from his wealthy family how to be imperious. He put that training to use now. "Chief," he said as he turned toward the door. "This discussion is over."


End file.
